Dreams

My book club just finished Little Women, and while discussing this beloved classic, we were asked to share our 'castles in the air' (aka dreams). As I considered it, I realized I've been doing the same dreaming since I was little- trying to make spaces more beautiful, either physically or mentally rearrange a room/shelf/table to look its best, recognizing complementary colors and patterns and textures. I can't help it! My mother gave me the liberty to do what I wanted in my little bedroom with the orange carpet and peach walls. I was probably 6 years old, and I remember arranging tiny plastic Precious Moments on a shelf, pinning things to the aforementioned walls. I didn't realize not every 6 year old person was doing this. As I got older, my design became a little more sophisticated- antique books instead of plastic figurines, yellow walls instead of peach (okay, maybe sophisticated wasn't the right adjective for lemon yellow walls...).

With MLK Day on my mind, I want values and long-term vision to guide my dreams. I believe God, the One who created me as I am on purpose and for a purpose, has put things in me and allowed certain things to excite my thoughts more than others. The other day I talked with the sweet  mother of a friend, who told me about my friend's calling to be a writer. Even when this author is critiqued to tears and asked to re-write things that she had truly felt so deeply, she presses on. Her mom asked how she could possibly continue after such exhausting correction. My friend's reply was beautiful. "Because I have to. I can't not write."

I've been dabbling in interior design even as I home school, but have felt like I can't give either job my full attention. I'm really looking forward to focused time with work during the day, and focused time with the kids after school. But seriously, this is going to be an astronomical (and good) change for us. I was home schooled myself, so it's what's familiar and safe for my inmost person and for the most part I've loved these years. But I'm so excited to see how we're able to grow through this season of uncharted territory- coming together at the end of the day to see how everyone's doing, rather than wishing we didn't know quite so intimately about every feeling of every person all day long.

Going back to my friend's statement- what is it you HAVE TO DO or you'll burst? Is it teaching? Is it cooking or baking? Painting or making music? Is it writing? Is it crunching numbers? Is it wardrobe styling? Is it running or swimming or biking? Is it caring for someone's medical needs? Think of what it is that your heart soars while doing-- and find a way to make more room for it in your life. Because there are people who God wants you to bless, and ways he wants others to be a blessing to you that can only happen if you're walking in the path he laid out for you. That's what I think anyway...I'm trying it, I'll let you know how it goes!

Happy first day of public school to these nerds!