Thursday, January 14, 2010
Over Christmas I had the joy of spending time with my entire family. It was so very merry indeed. We all laughed and had good talks. The most I've laughed, possibly ever, was at Anna. I would say with Anna, but she wasn't laughing. Here's the story...
It begins with Anna having the -ahem- privilege of going out for a Christmas luncheon with Luke and all of his coworkers (superiors - scientists, PHDs, colonels, etc.), and their wives. Oh joy, thought Anna.
Now, you know when you have something dreadful to do and you're just getting yourself so worked into a tizzy? You hang onto a thread of hope that things won't be as bad as your imagination has led you to fear. If only that were the case with Anna.
See, she just started digging into her food with gusto, hoping no one one would notice her, and certainly to avoid -the death wish - eye contact. Wouldn't you know it, the general didn't get the body language, and struck up conversation with my sorry sister.
General: So Anna, Luke tells me you're getting your Masters in nursing.
The poor dear. She just found it so ironic that someone with such a stack of education under his feet, would assume she's already onto her Masters.
After recovering slightly from the shock of her own response, but still looking red in the face, Anna wanted to say she was going to get her Bachelors then Masters, but she put the two together. What do you get when you combine Bachelors and Masters? Well, Anna told the general she was getting her bastards in nursing. Wow, that's something new.
Luke momentarily takes over the story here. He said he stared at his plate for a second, then swooped in and saved his mortified bride. "What Anna means is that she'll get her Bachelors degree, then her Masters..."
Okay, two moments of embarrassment behind her, Anna forges on, hoping to be a most forgettable person amongst this crowd of dignitaries. But did I mention there are three irksome degrees to this saga? The third being the piece de resistance.
I now introduce Luke's boss' wife, Ruby Hack. She had gotten Anna's number from Luke at a prior meeting, wanting to take Anna out for coffee and a chat. So as Ruby's leaving this luncheon she reaches out her hand to give Anna a little wave and say, "I'll call you," when my overeager sister reaches out and attempts to shake it. Ruby's left hand, out there limp just for a friendly gesture, has just turned my poor Annabelle into the most distressed creature. Confounded. Disconcerting. Vexing. Perplexing. Needless to say, Anna's not exactly waiting by the phone for Ruby's call to go out to lunch. Not that again.